“he took a hand to his weeping cock—”
Hahahaha oh my god, this is literary what I see every time someone uses a phrase like that. Every. Time.
I’m so glad I’m not alone. Then again, I find erotica in general to be really hilarious and very awkward most of the time, so. But mostly hilarious (and also editing an acquaintance’s pretty decent writing when an unexpected smut scene full of this kind of thing appears is possibly the most awkward thing in the history of the world.).